It was apparent that the Cincinnatti Reds were outmatched in their first postseason effort in 15 years against the seasoned, professional Philadelphia Phillies. They were utterly dominated and looked like amateurs against their NL East counterparts.
Hitting wasn’t the only problem for the Reds. Apparently shitting was a problem as well. The Reds were so nervous and so obviously outmatched that every player could be seen with diarrhea and other forms of excrement seeping through their pants in each game.
“Yeah, we had some problems with the diarrhea,” Brandon Phillips exclaimed. “I was so scared out there, like, man this is the playoffs? What are we doing here? So my b-hole just started quiverin’ and I guess some hot diarrhea came out.”
The Reds decided after Sunday’s loss that they will never try to make the playoffs again.