Category Archives: College Football

National Signing Day News: 3 Year-Old Tim “Wild Child” Jernigan Signs With Florida State

Tim’s agent and uncle, Jamal Jernigan (top right), announced the news for Tim, who cannot talk, on Wednesday.


Contrary to Original Reports, Cam Newton’s Father, Cecil Newton, Was at the BCS National Championship Game

Beano Cook on Michigan Football Job: “Ok, I Guess I’ll Take it if No One Else Wants the Goddamn Thing”

Beano will be introduced as the new head coach of Michigan Football once his mid-morning bloating subsides.

“Did Ya Do Anything Wrong, Mike?” Asks Nerd Reporter

Kentucky’s Quarterback got arrested for being drunk or something, which certainly is not why I am posting this.  I am posting this because I want to ask you if the mega-nerd reporter pisses you off as much as me.   He acts like what he’s doing is so goddamn important.  Well guess what, asshole?  It’s not fucking important!  I hope you get stuck doing Lexington news the rest of your life you ugly retard boy!

He chases down Hartline as he’s leaving jail and then asks, “Did you do anything wrong, Mike?” as she shoves a microphone inside the car.   What a moran!

What are Your Favorite Sports Figures Being for Halloween?

Jay Cutler looking ravishing as Princess Di.

Behold….Miss Boise!

ASB’s Lock for the Heisman: QB Steven Threet, Arizona State

This guy has the heart of a monkey, leads like a buffalo and perseveres like a beetle.  There’s no question in my mind that this kid will win the Heisman, his team is 2 and 3 in a STACKED Conference and he’s chuckin’ the ball all over the field like the oldest Manning bro.

If your fave NFL team is struggling right now, you just gotta hope this guy, affectionately nicknamed “Pick Machine” (not sure why), lands in your team’s lap in the first round of the draft.

Just look at the stats, fool:

Steven Threet 112 185 1431 7.74 9 10